Purple Iris

The Forgotten War

2010-08-13T17:15:00.012-04:00

There is a forgotten chapter in India’s modern history: the unique distinction of being a nation at war from both the allied and axis camps of World War II. This is the story of the people and the times we almost completely forget as a nation.

I was astounded to read that during the war, 2,500,000 men from British India (modern day India, Pakistan and Bangladesh) formed the largest volunteer army in the history of mankind, a fact that most of the world ignores. Amidst Gandhi’s “Quit India” and Congress’ Civil Disobedience, 2.5 million Indians took up arms to protect the democracy of Britain; the values of humanity they were told were at risk. These brave men fought across 3 continents, into territories and countries they hadn’t even heard of, risking their lives for a cause which was not their freedom. In return they got a 1/10^th of pay of a British soldier, rug-sacks and rotten rations, horrid living conditions and worst of all ignorance, hatred and a sense of denial from their very own people.

Like most of us who have read about the turbulent phase of WWII, it fascinates me how the world’s powers struggled just a little over 60 years ago from the capitals of Europe to unknown uninhabited islands in the Pacific; from the deserts of Africa to the jungles of south-east Asia. In mankind’s ugliest hour, it truly must have been a test of what you are and what you stood for. But, in these large volumes of battles and bloody victories there is a place where the victors lost.

Year 2010: In a day and age where competition is everything, whether in our classrooms, offices or board rooms the only aim is to edge out and get credit and acknowledgement for the slightest, smallest things we do, I am intrigued by the story of these men. How does it feel to go discredited for life even when fighting for the right cause? What cause is worthy enough of a life and who decides history, not necessarily the victors at least in this case! Through these pages, I wish to salute the men and women who sacrificed their lives in a victory they believed in and the credit that they never got for it.

World War II: British Indian Army

When Britain declared war on India’s behalf (September, 1939), men volunteered and flocked the recruiting stations. Men perhaps my age or even younger, from villages in Punjab to Madras, from the Bengals to Baluchistan, ‘Jawans’ who were Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and Christians from every caste and every backdrop formed this force. Winston Churchill had a deep distrust of the Indians and the British loathed them until the Battle of Dunkirk where The Indian Soldier rose to prominence for the first time since 1857 as the remarkable Gurkhas depicted unparalleled valor in the mayhem of British retreat. Subsequent deployments proved the prowess of these men on the field.

Italian surrenders to Indian Soldier (Operation Crusader, Tobruk, Libya [194i])

Libya and Egypt Theatre (1940-41): The first land victory of the WWII for the allies came when a 5-to-1 out-numbered Indian army defeated the Italians in the middle of the Saharan Desert. Imagine, fighting on a foreign soil for the cause of ‘the empire’. In a 2 year period, this Indian Army takes into custody 290,000 Italians as POWs and captures the whole of Italian East Africa (AOI).

South-east Asia (1941-45): Victory in Africa came with defeat in south-east Asia. The Japanese Army was a much more sophisticated war machine than one would imagine, after all it was the country that had the guts and will power to attack America and wage a battle for 7 years in which every inch of land on even the remotest of islands was fought for with blood. Sweeping across China and Vietnam, the Japanese Army swiftly cut across Malaya and Singapore which were defended by the British Indian Army.

The unexpected loss and retreat in Singapore caused 90,000 men to be taken as Japanese POW of which 2/3 were Indians. And here comes the most captivating part of the story, once captured these Jawans were separated from their British officers and given a choice: join the fledgling Indian National Army(INA) led by Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose and fight for ‘India’s Independence’ along with the Axis powers or rot in the diseased POW camps. The Japanese were notorious for using POWs for target practice and bayonet training. 20,000 men broke and joined the INA.

The INA Story: Contradiction like most things in India underlines this story as well. The INA was initially formed by Capt. Mohan Singh and recruited along with the 20,000 POWs, ethnic Indians from Malaya and Burma. The cause was just – ‘Liberation of India’ through an armed struggle however Mohan Singh fell out with the Japanese as he felt that he INA would be a puppet army.

The flavor touch of a nationalist force comes in the story with Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose escaping house arrest and fleeing to Germany to meet Hitler. The Germans too had a contingent of Indian POWs and Bose created and Indian ‘legion’ there. Bose then tried the Japanese who, disgruntled with Mohan Singh, were happy to hand him over the charge of the INA. There is no question about Netaji’s integrity as a patriot. He had seen Gandhi’s policies and a divided Congress-Muslim league in India and was disgruntled by the whole approach towards liberation that the Indian political movement envisaged. Netaji wanted India’s liberation at any cost and he believed that an armed struggle would make the British Empire in India fall like a house of cards.

Under Netaji’s command and supplies & support from the Japanese, the INA began its march towards Delhi and ‘Chalo Dilli’ was born.aji, the iconic schoolbook photo)

The surge of militant-nationalism was perceived in Delhi and in London. Churchill offered post-war Independence to India in return of continued support in WWII and India agreed. At this juncture, I think what Netaji would have come across would have been a déjà-vu of patriots of an earlier age, India’s first war of independence (1857) that also saw Indians fighting for Indians against Indians under the British.

This is what led to points in the war when Indian soldiers came face to face with each other, in the hills of Burma and Malaysia, speaking and shouting in their own mother tongues while carrying the arms for foreign nations on a pseudo national cause. The INA and Japanese troops reached the gates of Kohima, Nagaland when the falling and faltering lines of British Indian Army finally pounced on them and began the liberation of East Asia towards the very end of the war.

Think of these men, men of two Indian Armies. Who/What were they fighting for?

The End Game:

All this while as WWII raged, India at home was at a purely different saga. A nation is turmoil, eager to break the shackles of centuries of foreign domination wanting independence at any cost. In this charged nationalist atmosphere everybody collaborating with British, everything British was designated traitor. Protests, agitations and revolt must have filled the air in the final years before ’47.

Indian soldiers fighting for the British were seen as no exception in the list of traitors. On their return many were caught on the streets and roughed up, incidents have been recorded where mobs of nationalists ransacked the village homes and properties of these men. The soldiers on their return never wore their uniforms in public, never narrated the stories in fear of the anti-British sentiment.

On the other hand there was widespread sympathy for Bose’s defeated INA and to this day India honors the ranks of this organization. INA troops were given a hero’s welcome when they returned at the end of war and in independent India were beneficiaries of all schemes and pensions for the freedom fighters.

In an ugly contradiction of history, those who fought and prevailed were not victors instead became a national embarrassment, collaborators and a social-pariah and were never credited as much as the INA.

In all, India lost 87,000 men on the battlefields of World War II in 3 continents but this often overlooked chapter in history made me realize that the story of India’s independence is as ironical as India herself!

O Sitaram!

2010-02-21T11:24:00.003-05:00

The Men's Saloon is almost a mystic wonderland amidst the jungle of urban life in India. One of his last hide-outs, a man can truly relax and let-go of everything in this most unassuming adobe of tranquility. Men in the west may hit the sports-bars or join friends for a beer.Men in India are still more accustomed to the regal treatment at the local barbers'. Read the paper or magazines, discuss at length over politics or cricket-matches or local issues. Express yourself as the trained hands service the head and shoulders making click-clack sounds from bones you never knew even existed, lay back on a cushioned seat closing your eyes while the soft smell of talcum lingers in the air and there are brush-strokes of the most perfumed of shaving creme sweeping your face.

From the staunchest stubborns to aristocrats and elites... observe closely and you can see everyone unwind to their true honest selves in a little saloon. The fabled Indian Barber, the know-all social pundit still survives in some by-lane around the busy market street. I know of such a place, The Milan Saloon.... hairdressers serving 3 generations of my family (perhaps the only constant between these three generations :)). Sitaram, the proprietor is a master and guru at this fine art of (Indian) coiffures. I remember going there and getting my hair-cut done on my Grandpa's lap and for precisely a million other reasons I would visit this one shop every time I can do so in Jaipur. With his ever-growing team of apprentices and staff Milan glass door entrance is filled with banter, chatter and the light-hearted good natured spirit of men.

Welcome to the West, I don't wish to sound archaic but its actually weird to have a girl sit next to you at the barber's and as if this is the least of the inhibitions that affect you there are a million bottles of hair-serum and hair-dryers and tools and accessories of every kind with possibly more colour shades to choose from than on a Berger Paint's colour-sampler! I entered the reasonably hep Barber's Shop at the Reitz Union commercial center at UF (for those of you who're wondering, Yes... I still do have to visit the Barber's every few weeks and the dead tissues we embrace upon our skulls haven't eluded me completely as yet ).

A middle-aged woman who I assumed was a customer led me to a middle-aged man who was the barber. The middle-aged woman then went ahead trimming the golden-brown locks from a golden-brown haired girl's head. As I was trying to look-at-her without letting her know that I was looking-at-her I realized she could see me look-at-her in the mirror!

Anyways, the barber swung into action as the chair with some unknown configurational controls lifted, rotated, inclined me to an angle best suited for the middle-aged barber! As he started talking specifics about the operation at hand, I was thinking how to tell him small-but-not-too-small.

As scissor-hands clasped in the air the operation was underway! To my surprise, the middle-aged barber even triggered a conversation regarding departments and college studies which I tried support till our voices were subdued by the 'do you want me to leave the golden side up or do you want me to try the rollers' kind of a conversation from the next seat.

And I just sat there, sunk into this half robotic chair and murmured O Sitaram ji! I wish I was at Milan's.

Shame on the 'Intellectual'.

2009-11-14T03:20:00.004-05:00

Every society prides itself on the number and the genius of its intellectuals. My country today, I am sorry to admit, is handicapped in this. With the recent upsurge in Naxalite Violence in some parts the country; I came across this short documentary film "India's Maoist Revolution" on Youtube.

The film starts by describing two Indias:

India A: the urban youth, a generation of Indians which is a product of the New India, the one that grew up in the '90s, with liberal values and a modern approach towards the world, a society that now hails consumerism and its brainpower, industrial and free market potential. The kids on the 'economic miracle' wavelength. I shouldn't have to describe this too much, just imagine as a reader you yourself are a part of it.

India B: Where poverty, illiteracy, exploitation of the tiller, the laborer and the women is the order of the day. An India that comes true in all the gory words we used in those long melancholy essays that we rote learned and prepared for our exams.

Does it not exist? I don't say so. For otherwise, there is no reason for Maoists to have atleast some influence in >25% of Indian districts.

Then why am I ashamed of the Indian 'intellectual' who makes a point of it?

I don't know Arundhati Roy, I have heard she won the Booker Prize for a book I have never bothered to read as yet (and wouldn't do so now for sure). The film (and the Indian Media) epitomizes Roy as a champion of the cause of the underprivileged in India, the messiah of the downtrodden who struggles tirelessly for the cause of India B. The film's other stars are Mr. Ajai Sahni from Institute of Conflict Management (think tank -- you who these people are?) and a Human Rights Activist Himanshu Danty.

From the start, you can get the feel the film is for a firang audience. At a point it even taunts that all that the Indian state touts itself for being the world's largest democracy is just in name. Ajai even claims that there is 'not a single' part of India where there is absolute authority of the state in full force. Amazing 'Intellectual'!

The Context:

The film talks bare minimum of the Naxal (Maoist) Revolution, Why is it as it is? Where it happens? And what are these people capable of? Now remind yourself of those 'distressed people who don’t see the state as a welfare state', those who declare war on the State of India, who go about abducting, extorting and intimidating entire populations and their administrations. Those who beheaded Police Officer Francis Induwar, those who hijacked a Rajdhani Express, those whose leaders claim to bring about a Maoist Revolution in India. Put to rest all class and cast distinctions, restart nation building 'as it should be'.

Maoists, Yes! I mean who are we? are we fools? I haven't studied atomic physics and I don't know how to build a thermonuclear weapon. However, I still know that nuclear arms and their effect do no good to mankind. Likewise, I haven't read Mao and I'm sure neither have most of you have, all I know that when Mao's reign ended, China was not today's China. It was in its worst political and socio-economic condition; a China where a Tiananmen Square took place! A police state with a broken economy and a broken spirit. A China which had to open up "Special Economic Zones" with full free-market freedom (entirely opposed to the Communist System) too survive. So much to prove that Maoism is a FAILED ideology, across the globe.

So whatever the Maoists wish to achieve is something that the Indian state, the law of the land shall never agree too or let happen. The soft-sate i.e. our country has to rise (and we already are seeing signs of it) to kill the Maoist virus. Stronger policing and 'power to the people' are tools indeed for the same.

However, the film totally covers these 3 'intellectuals' (and many more like them). These self-appointed know-all pundits of Modern India, who 'see' and 'feel' the pain of these people by dawning Khadi. The single focal point of the entire diatribe was criticism of the 'Salwa Judum' which is an Anti-Naxal tribal people's movement spawning in camps and displaced villages. The Salwa Judum is funded and armed by the state and its ranks fill up as Special Police Officers (SPOs), who know the topography and are directly affected by the Maoist threat.

Ms. Roy's very stately and morally correct claim goes in disregarding the importance of state help to Salwa Judum. These vigilante organizations which are drawn from the people to protect the people are in Ms. Roy's description a complete violation of India's constitutional duty of protecting its citizens and that arming civilians (for their own protection) is against all moral authority of the State.

The film describes the Salwa Judum as a militia; it shows incidents of violence in camps on the people by Salwa Judum and the police. It does not for once show the effectiveness of Salwa Judum in curbing or atleast retaliating to the Naxalites in times and place where the state could not. Mr. Danty addressing a meeting of these camp dwellers allegedly shot dead by the Salwa Judum says 'You can either die saying the truth or a coward... either way here you have to die', well this is a Social Worker and had I been in the camp I was definitely heading out for some fresh air.

Ms. Roy and her accomplices are all shown supporting the argument that the state is at fault. Well, as long as there is freedom of speech and expression guaranteed to Roy et. al. we will have to listen to this crap as well. Ms. Roy at a point even claims that it is some mutation of a ’Genocide’ on the tribal people by the Indian government.

Does Ms. Roy take into account the enormity of the task that the Police in traditionally poor pockets in Chhatisgarh, Jharkhand and parts of West Bengal have to face? The logistical nightmare of having to patrol, safeguard and police thousands of square kilometers of dense jungle and rough terrain? In a sense you see her justifying the cause of the enemy, the Maoist.

Yes, we need police reform but that doesn't come overnight or if it does it would come like Indira Gandhi's Emergency. We don't want that! So what is the problem in arming a civilian force to protect their homes and their properties where the state cannot guarantee the same? There are Village Defense Committees all across terror-ridden J&K, the North-Eastern states. Ask Ms. Roy to go protest that as well.

Fundamentally, what is wrong in the state letting me defend myself when the state cannot (for whatever reasons) guarantee my protection at present?

Ms. Roy is not the only one. She just represents a clan these 'intellectuals', we saw them and said nothing during the Singur crisis in W. Bengal and in the recent Maoist upsurge in Lalgarh.

And that brings extreme shame upon us for having such people as beacons of pride in the civil society.

The Bottom Line:

Criticism of policies when intended to bring police reform, to develop social infrastructure and economic opportunities is agreeable and necessary, but criticism done on false-reporting, biased-opinionated coverage, only to show that 'I am a social activist par-excellence par-state' is the sickest, meanest trick in the book.

If you stoop this low in making a point for a foreign audience, you are no better than India's last reminiscence still smitten by the 'British Raj' looking for a 'Shabaashi' from a 'Gore Saab'.

Down with such 'intellectuals'!

P.s.: If half the stuff I wrote about above was fresh and never heard-off before by you, I'm sorry. India A and India B do exist and the gap is increasing!

You need to sign in with your Google Account to read this its a 22min film and here is the link to the documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O2WwESwJhw&aia=true

Beauty of Truth

2009-09-16T18:47:00.001-04:00

Songs you fall in love with!

A poem by Sufi saint, Khwaja Ghulam Farid written in the late 19th century, this was performed for the Coke Studio sessions by the talented Pakistani artist Areib Azhar....

The translation produced by Azhar himself is something so stirring, that I almost started abstracting the abstract!

After all, what is it the we call truth? God is the truth, whatever I do, I'll fall short of describing the truth!

Here goes the translation.....

Husn e Haqiqi – Beauty of Truth

O’ Beauty of Truth, the Eternal Light!

Do I call you necessity and possibility,

Do I call you the ancient divinity,

The One, creation and the world,

Do I call you free and pure Being,

Or the apparent lord of all,

Do I call you the souls, the egos and the intellects,

The imbued manifest, and the imbued hidden,

The actual reality, the substance,

The word, the attribute and dignity,

Do I call you the variety, and the circumstance,

The demeanor, and the measure,

Do I call you the throne and the firmament,

And the demurring delights of Paradise,

Do I call you mineral and vegetable,

Animal and human,

Do I call you the mosque, the temple, the monastery,

The scriptures, the Quran,

The rosary, the girdle,

Godlessness, and faith,

Do I call you the clouds, the flash, the thunder,

Lightning and the downpour,

Water and earth,

The gust and the inferno,

Do I call you Lakshmi, and Ram and lovely Sita,

Baldev, Shiv, Nand, and Krishna,

Brahma, Vishnu and Ganesh,

Mahadev and Bhagvaan,

Do I call you the Gita, the Granth, and the Ved,

Knowledge and the unknowable,

Do I call you Abraham, Eve and Seth,

Noah and the deluge,

Abraham the friend, and Moses son of Amran,

And Ahmad the glorious, darling of every heart,

Do I call you the witness, the Lord, or Hejaz,

The awakener, existence, or the point,

Do I call you admiration or prognosis,

Nymph, fairy, and the young lad,

The tip and the nip,

And the redness of betel leaves,

The Tabla and Tanpura,

The drum, the notes and the improvisation,

Do I call you beauty and the fragrant flower,

Coyness and that amorous glance,

Do I call you Love and knowledge,

Superstition, belief, and conjecture,

The beauty of power, and conception,

Aptitude and ecstasy,

Do I call you intoxication and the drunk,

Amazement and the amazed,

Submission and the connection,

Compliance and Gnosticism,

Do I call you the Hyacinth, the Lilly, and the Cypress,

And the rebellious Narcissus,

The bereaved Tulip, the Rose garden, and the orchard,

Do I call you the dagger, the lance, and the rifle,

The hail, the bullet, the spear,

The arrows made of white poplar, and the bow,

The arrow-notch, and the arrowhead,

Do I call you colorless, and unparalleled,

Formless in every instant,

Glory and holiness,

Most glorious and most compassionate,

Repent now Farid forever!

For whatever I may say is less,

Do I call you the pure and the humane,

The Truth without trace or name.

Genocide Denied. Genocide Begotten.

2009-08-24T00:02:00.000-04:00

I think I have developed a knack for testing myself with all the grossness of historical documentaries. Each time I think I have escaped the clogging of my own head with the images and screams and ugliness, something more unimaginable comes up. I landed upon

SCREAMERS (Click here to follow on YouTube) , feat. System of A Down, the idea of the film was to cover something few documentaries put so wholly into picture..... 'GENOCIDE' or the killing of genos (races) is truly a 2oth century phenomenon.

Starting with the 1915 Genocide of the Armenians in Turkey, The Holocaust, Pol-pot's Cambodia, Kosovo, Serbia, Rwanda and Darfur! Each time the world forgets people in their miseries, each time this comes up again.

The graphics were all real archive footage of these times and these places. More horrifying were stark inconsistencies in the way the world has responded or not responded. The figures speak for themselves, 1500000 Armenians. 6000000 Jews. 200000 Bosnians. 600000 Rwandans. 400000+ in Darfur. Each time political and ideological pressure originates from a majority under threat, the minorities suffer.

Sometimes you often wonder if these acts are even possible for a human to commit, sometimes you feel ashamed of the species! Like when you hear descriptions of survivors from such carnages!

Armenia is a country we would know or bother little about as some far off God forsaken land. The fact that Turkey denied the occurence of a genocide there is further unknown to most of us. But the entire documentary, filmed alongside 'System of A Down' band with members of

Armenian descent presents a grim picture at how the west and particularly the U.S. and U.K. have failed to recognize the cause of the Armenian people for the more important tactical location of Turkey.... Russia's underbelly!

I never really liked the said band's music that much and sticking to a cause and promoting it through concerts is nothing new for bands. But having seen and read about some of these genocides before seeing this film, theres hardly anything to disagree with in the film.

For a major part in me, life goes on as usual. You work, you carry on and nothing changes. But having knowledge of such stuff, I guess would make me more conscious about what are the threats to us in our society, because each time we forget the tragedy of millions.... they come back to haunt us again in another 'Genocide'.

Move on, Stay back!

2009-07-27T15:32:00.000-04:00

There are places and situations when you move out and say goodbye to people, the people stay back and carry on their usual lives and you have something good happening around and some place exciting to goto. Then there are times when you're the one staying back and people say good bye to you!

I have lived away from home for the past 4 years now, I have shuttled frequently. When you reach home, your own town, your best friends, your favorite hangouts.... the world glitters!

Every time I came back home, I remember having a warm and enthusiastic family, my best friends, my love and everyone that really mattered most over here! I would visit them, have a lot of fun, do everything from treks on fortresses to getting high on chocolates, I would leave, they'd say good bye, a big hug and the I'd return and the same again!

This time as well, I came back. I had everyone, I had a lot of fun. They say you enjoy life more when you've all kinds of time! I had this one amazing and perhaps the last such period!

I lived it. And we rocked. Only this time, God thought it would be fun to give me the doze!

All my friends have joined colleges, post grad studies in all parts of the country in all sorts of courses and I waved them off, each one of them! They all wished me luck, hugged me and be gone and here I am, sitting alone.

I guess I am lucky, God has blessed me with such a short time for 'doing nothing'. I've invested it all in all the stuff I like. I've worked and chilled out and unwinded and hogged. I've made some startling discoveries, I finally realized why we call what we call the 'idiot box'. I've seen every shower in Jaipur. I've done all sorts of social networking and am hooked to an AOE engine type game!

I still feel the joblessness, the few weeks I'm spending like this make me realize how difficult is it to say good bye and stay and how easy is it to move on!

God has been kind, I've found people who did it everytime smiling yet letting me know how they'd be bored once I'm gone and what all we'd do on my next return.

Its a few more days to Florida. The exodus is about to begin! I'm excited. But I have it for me figured out, it can really be lonely to stay back!

Breaking Crap!

2009-06-08T19:30:00.000-04:00

Funny as it has always been, I am once again entrapped in the strict regime of 24hr news channels blurting out nonsensical and almost whimsical accounts of everything like:

"How the Taliban in the Swat plan to regroup": something that even dear Obama doesn’t have a clue of, a question boggling intelligence agencies of atleast 10 countries!

and my current favourite...

"How the plane carrying socialite Mufatlal 'safely landed' with 72 lac worth of 'illegal' jewelry" as if any aircraft carrying anything illegal was bound to crash land!!

The video broadcast's loop-button inventors must be tumbling in their graves as they witness the horrific tragedy that has unfolded as 24hr news television in India.....

Where else do you get dedicated sections as the "Breaking News" appear everyday 20:00hrs? As if the news would wait till it’s 8 and then bang on to the world!

Now that’s some redefinition!

The same news every half hour and on the hour was Star News (then run by NDTV) staple feed, then came the News boom and now on my Tata Sky I have at least 20 news channels churning out the same bits, feeds, crazy animation and inundating sets. You can skip anything on television these days but not the news and it sure may help a few in the iPod generation but for genuine lovers of news bulletins, it’s a sad pain. I was wondering if the Indian law doesn’t prohibit unchecked broadcast of bullshit through the wires and now digital media!

Take This: "Kal-kripal" or "Teen-deviyan" or so many like those feature babas and sadhus and dhongis (fakesters) openly preaching stuff like IFF you are a Virgo and IFF you have a bad headache THEN you should rub some brick-powder on your head and go give a roti to a cow!

And Holy Cow! All that your society strived to achieve for over a century, freedom from the clutches of superstitions and modern scientific thought etc. is gone, the same middle ages crap is being fed into the system again from the bottle-neck i.e. the media!

A "necessary-evil" is the best possible position one can allot to the news scenario in India. No doubt such wonderful work has been made possible by the Indian media that it has its position as the fourth-pillar of our state well-deserved. But the evil takes its toll and by any random guess 7 out 0f 10 channels have underrated performance when it comes to even the most basic news coverage. English reporters not fluent with the language, Hindi reporters speaking as if reporting was worth the business of discussing the locality’s gossip at a tea-stall and God knows what it would be for the regional media.

Solve it? Here lies the problem, TV and especially news television has become a media so powerful that it can make or break public image in a matter of hours. The dragon unleashed, even the government of the day wouldn't dare tame it as it risks being tainted for the rest of its term!

Print media may still serve a fair semblance in this context but when it comes to television, the average viewer sees news channels as a clan, that competes within to nadir-low levels in claiming that their experts had predicted that a certain team would loose a match before analysts on the other channel did. Yet, whenever a finger is raised upon anyone, clan-o-nomics comes into play and the fraternity would most vociferously protect its members and their idiocy. Even seasoned journalists like Barkha Dutt and Pranoy Roy haven’t been able to resist this temptation and if you look close enough, the clan is essentially same blood.

We would listen day long expert sessions on all aspects of life, sport, human, divine and politics but please inform me if there's a session on any channel which forces the media to introspect or brings to light its failures!

Nothing is perfect, and same goes with the media. The only way out is for strong and opinionated voices (still about 40%) in Indian TV Journalism to step forward and create common minimum standards of what is and what is not going down the wire!

Till then, remember that in one interview with a rape victim in Orissa the reporter asks the woman, “ab apko kaisa lag raha hai?” (“How are you feeling now?”). A fitting analogy to when you as a viewer are asked to write-in and tell us , "how was our show"!

from the Lectern, reporting for meaningful news television in India!

I met Me

2009-04-16T09:53:00.000-04:00

I woke up early this morning. It was barely 5 am. I was cold. Ankit leaves the window open as its usually stuffy and hot because of two people, a refrigerator and a laptop running 24/7 in a small room made for a single person!

I could feel the cold settling on my skin, its familiar yet such a strange feeling. I was not shivering, I was warm on the bed but on my face and arms I knew I was cold. The curtain fluttered in intermittent gushes and I gazed at the ever bright street lights of Paris. Through the cover of the trees came this shimmering flash of light, periodic. Its almost the rapid eye movement sort of a feeling, you know you are awake but at any moment you would be in the dreams again! My eyes were heavy and I was cold!

Object of Curiosity! the periodic flash of light..... Got my head spinning and as it happens with 5yr olds, I couldn't sleep. I pushed myself up on the elbow, waited for the periodic period; strange as it seems, it took longer than the usual for it to appear again or was it just me observing!

A lot of things kept me thinking. I don't even remember all of them. But I clearly remember me telling myself, record yourself. I almost all of a sudden put myself into the third person's perspective. Or should I say that my consciousness was in the third person. I now saw a boy looking out of a window, tracking a changing light. I remembered the documentary on Hiroshima I saw last night, the Coldplay song "Talk" was running through my head. I thought about why was I looking, what was I waiting for. I knew it was all but an insignificant flash of light. I could feel my head grow heavy and I was cold, yet I was looking out of the window.

I asked myself, what drives you now. I was curious about the flash, I was more curious about why I was curious. Its something you most rarely, if ever, experience. A flash of light! that's all it took to get my head spinning. I've heard they say a lot of what goes around in your head is the expression of what you see around yourself. I was thinking about thinking. I was curious about curiosity. I have never concentrated this hard on this ever before.

I was driven into deeper thought. I was thinking about man's essential nature: The explorer. The curious. Had I just struck a cord with a fundamental instinct at 5am on a cold morning? Had I that gush of a feeling that had our ancestors come from being hunter gatherers to flight pioneers to space explorers to blog writers. A 10,000 year old civilizational saga all driven by this simple "What is it?"!

I was excited, again the 5yr old kid. I could feel the hair on my forearms rise. Excitement or cold. Decide for yourself! But it was so true. I was curious about the thought of the flash (it hadn't occur ed again as yet). I was as excited about myself as I was perhaps at the last ball of the T20 India Pak final or at the result site for semester results or at the climax of a thriller.

Then as smoothly as it had started, it came to an end. I was still staring at the window. That's the road next to the Stade Charlety, I realized and that I'm in my room and I'm feeling cold.

Then came the flash. It was from a advertisement scroll, that sort that roll between advertisements. That's all that took to take me into a short but I feel a remarkably beautiful journey!

Now that I think of it, I feel like did it actually happen. But that's one reason I post this so that I remember that once on a cold early morning.. I Met Myself!

Eyes Wide Open

2009-03-26T10:14:00.000-04:00

I stand here with an olive twig, I am curious to what the world would be nevertheless, I am sure we are living a turbulent phase in history!

A few weeks ago I was glued to BBC's Story of India. This enthralling documentary series takes you right from the very beginnings of human settlements in the Indian subcontinent, to the great empires and epic sagas of undivided India's glorious history! Watching it is like floating on a timeline and enjoying the essence of the subcontinent in all its fervor. It is like a summary of all major events, empires and rulers in our history, from the Guptas, the Kushans to the Mughal and the British. The timeline brings us to the present and the recent, including the struggle for independence, the unfortunate loss of millions of lives during the partition and the uncomfortable relations ever since.

Through all of it I realized a fact that shines above whatever history has documented... Whenever people in the Indian subcontinent have faced turbulent times, we have shaped the destiny of the world. Throughout history, the subcontinent has enriched, enlightened and molded innumerable aspects of human civilization.

We stand again at history's crossroads. Although 60 years may be just a blip in our history, it is significant as we have branched out in different directions as different nation-states. The jingoistic rhetoric that “we are still the same people yaar!” does not fundamentally apply or appeal to us anymore.

Understanding the India and Pakistan of today from the grandpa’s bioscope view of one people-two nations is frankly, outdated. No matter how glorious the past may have been, the modern reality is of two separate nations, two separate identities and two completely different theories of nationhood.

Through this medium, I wish to have clarification more than dialogue, because dialogue cannot happen without a clear understanding of perspectives. I wish to put across to the readers an average Indian's point of view of Pakistan and the prevailing tense situation between our nations. I wish to put forward realities that are often left butchered or swallowed by the demon called the 'stereotype'.

To start with, lets banish the ghost of this stereotype. And how do you do that? It’s simple, just analyze things objectively, look for reason and don't have blind faith in what you see or read as propaganda!

Having said that, I have opened my eyes to the reality that Pakistan is not a country all ravaged by terrorists, it does not have a 'Talibanized' society and nor does it aspire to be ruled by fundamentalists. As is evident from the recent protests by lawyers and opposition parties, Pakistan's civil society has had a new awakening. It is both vigilant and active, which is seen in the democratic world as symbols of people's power. Pakistan, like any developing nation has the same basic tenets of life and often the people share similar aspirations as us.

Like anywhere in the world, the Pakistani society is also threatened by extremists (militant or non-combatant), only here the case is a little severe as present-day geopolitics and a clash of cultures have ironically made Pakistan both the scape-goat and its butcher.

India sans propaganda

Now, to understand an Indian's perspective you have to kill your stereotype of India. First of all, think Big! India’s size and diversity is greater than that of entire Europe, it is not made up of war mongering and radical religious fanatics, Indian society rejects and challenges any imposition on its basic fundamental rights far more vehemently than many countries in the west. However, all this general knowledge is no match to the biggest ‘India stereotype’, the one about India's communal harmony!

India is secular in its spirit. The word's depth is something I cannot express in the space here, it can only be witnessed and I hope that each one of you can visit India someday and feel it for yourself. It is easy to portray a few fundamentalist outfits rioting in India, but it is difficult for your propaganda to follow that through an independent judiciary, justice is delivered each and every time.

If things against the minorities in India were really that bad, how do you explain a Roman Catholic leader of the ruling coalition with a Sikh Prime Minister, a Muslim vice president and a Hindu president with a multi ethnic, multi religious, multi racial cabinet ruling over perhaps the most diverse nation on earth, democratically?

A very good example of secular India came a few weeks ago, when the Sri Lankan team came under attack in Lahore, India at that time was in a frenzy of rejoicing her Oscars winners, on the podium were A.R. Rehman, Resul Pookutty and Gulzar!

Interesting bit of biography that goes with all three... Rehman was born as Dilip Kumar and converted to Islam at the age of 21, Resul is Malyalee for Rasool, a Muslim and Gulzar’s real name is Sampooran Singh Kalra, a Sikh! All rose to eminence from very humble average backgrounds, yet their belief and their religious inclination never came in their way of becoming national heroes!

They may come from any religion/region, in India it just doesn't matter! Having seen the societies abroad, I feel this aspect of recognizing the individual above his faith is unique to India, as it has been for the past 3000 years.

However, India is by no means a perfect country; it has its fair share of problems with poverty, infrastructure, extremism and fundamentalism. India has by all means realized this simple fact that in the world of tomorrow only an economically stable country can survive. India houses one-sixth of humanity, it definitely aspires to be super-power and at present the national focus is on economic prosperity and welfare.

Zinda + Abad Pakistan

I have interacted with a few Pakistani friends on Internet forums, some are prejudiced and some are open-minded, just like everywhere in the world. However, I noticed one basic propaganda aftermath- the staunch belief that India's intelligence agencies are behind recent spree of terror and violence in various parts of Pakistan. The same was also alleged in the wake of the Lahore attacks and for disturbances in Swat. Even stronger is the notion that those responsible for terror in India, the much gossiped “non state actors” of Pakistan don’t operate or reside on Pakistani soil, we hope the average person realizes how incorrect that is!

Now if you go beyond the rhetoric and check out for logic, India has most to gain if Pakistan's civilian government, the fragile democracy survives and builds its roots deep enough to not be ousted again. It matters to India if Pakistan is under martial law, because for some reason each time the army's at the helm in Islamabad, military confrontations (or their threat) becomes a clear and present danger. 1965, 1971 and 1999 stand as disgraceful reminders of the same.

The most important reason for us to wish for a stable Pakistan is pure economics. The 2001 mobilization of forces caused useless expenditure on the Indian ex-chequer even when there was no war; imagine the consequences in human and economic terms had we fought!

These are tough times in the world economy, as countries throughout the world reel under the brunt of severe economic policing, India has managed to stay relatively safe in these troubled times. With a 8-touching GDP growth, an improving world image and a booming economy... a war, a destabilized neighbour and a political crisis of any sort are the last on India’s wish list!

Thus, the fundamentalism in Pakistan, incidents such as Benazir's assassination, the Lal Mosque siege or the recent 'March' on Islamabad worry India as much (if not more) as Pakistan. We have seen how the crisis of Afghanistan in the 1980s has so deeply affected Pakistan today; India would be the last to have a hand in destabilizing a democratic Pakistan or inviting an Afghanistan-like situation.

As a nation, as individuals and a society Indians don't wish to be victims of terror. The Lashkar-e-Tayyaba, Jamat-ud-Dawa and a long list of organizations which have funded, aided and supported terror strikes in the past and the present (such as 26/11: Mumbai). What India wishes to see is acceptance of the fact that these 'non-state actors' are a menace and a threat to Pakistan and that just because they are fighting India should not be a reason to allow them to operate or let the perpetrators go scott-free!

As extraordinary as the times we live in, it is ironic that India has never wished more for the integrity of Pakistan and its return to successful nationhood, than it does today. Indians hope for a united and strong Pakistan, which can curb terror and fundamentalism that is today a threat to not just to world peace but also for Pakistan's existence.

It takes many generations and hundreds of years to build a strong nation, but just one generation can completely ruin the whole show! Pakistan and India have both seen troubled times in the past, but none have been so severe as to threaten the very existence of the other. At these crossroads of civilizations, of cultures, of time we don’t really know what the future has in store for us, what we know is that we are living through historical times and hope we can see a better tomorrow. Moderation, tolerance and brotherhood of all mankind are more important than any religion or God, which is the essence of our civilization!

I still stand here with the olive twig .

The Culinary Divine!

2009-01-17T21:12:00.000-05:00

I was asked by a friend of mine, to blog the experience of feeding yourself (as in literally speaking…. Cooking what you can and then eating it J)

I’m documenting something so emotional, its FOOD!

I Can’t Cook! I never have made progress in a lot of things…. Like playing music, like playing field sports, like dancing…. Cooking until recently was one of those things I’d rather shy away and never try because all my little experiences have been so bad in the past.

Then came Paris, for the starters I’ll justify the need to cook, at 2.85 Euros (cheapest-student rate) a meal even the most ardent followers of No-mess-only-dhaba regimen have to bend. It’s simply impossible even for the average Parisian to go without cooking for more than a few days.

The supermarkets are good, except for liquor almost everything would seem overpriced from Indian standards but then it is not India. The French have a good taste of breads, jams, pastries and bakery stuff, at Rs. 110 for 6 cans, Coke comes to your rescue too!!

At first we had rice, microwave cooked rice fried with chopped onions in ghee showered generously with stir-fried vegetables…… whoa!
Lets get to reality, Microwave cooked rice always has some water remaining or not fully boiled until you get the precise idea of how much rice, water and time should be given. Vegetables, who knows how to ‘stir-fry’ them…?

Rice Day One: We put some extra ghee and some extra watery half boiled rice in the pan, poured almost every masala and ready-to-eat paste we had. It was sludge, slimy thick thing which we’re yet to name. We boiled potatoes (pomme de terra in French), peeled of the skin and and gulped it. Lots of salt to normalize the taste, lots of lemon juice.. believe me helps you gulp!

Rice Day Two we bettered the rice, Rice Day Three was even better, Rice Day Four the Rice smells like Rice, Rice Day Five the Rice is tastes like Rice…. OMG!!! We are master rice cooks! Day Six: Rice Over.

Adventure Day: So its difficult to shop here, even more difficult to read French, you tend to get you almost got the meaning of the word you read and dang...it means something completely different, guess it’s the same with every language so we can skip discussing it!

The most economical supermarket here is LIDL (lee-del as the Indians call it). We were scanning through the section ‘Riz’ or Rice, the best decorated big box had this camel thing drawn over a big bowl of rice with a Tuareg (I know it as I watch Discovery ‘ends of the world’) Desert Tribesman on it. The size, the price was good. We got it! Praised the company Golden Sun Couscous on the way back. And just before we were to inaugurate the nice new box of Golden Sun Couscous rice for dinner, a veteran in our block who shares the kitchen stood there giggling, happy as he was to see our bag of Golden Sun, he asked and this is one of those times you can never forget!

“What are you cooking today”, the matter-of-fact me jumped…What do you think am I cooking with a box of rice, noodles I guess, hahahaha!

Well I see no rice, do you mind letting me taste the couscous* (pronounced khus-kus) came the response.

*couscous is a very popular North African dish, resembles upma, largely tasteless.

Thus began the couscous days, and believe me you can add Indian masalas to everything and everything tastes like chat corner delicacies J

Week two has just ended, have mastered Aloo-Pyaz ki Sabzi and scrambled eggs. Breakfast goes good with toasted bread, nice jams, cereal and milk and eggs, enough to keep you going for the day. To less monotonize dinners we have the less remaining Maggi soups and until recently the Indian snacks. Biscuits and general fillers and Coke help us get by each day.

P.S.: Goodness and genuine help is not all dead! Quite regularly we get tips, treats and guidance from India House residents.

Will keep adding as I progress,

Days are passing by and its so far so culinary divine!

How do i say Good Bye!

2008-11-04T11:50:00.000-05:00

3rd November 2008.
School of Computing Sciences Farewell Function, VIT
Speech by ME

Respected Chancellor Sir, Dignitaries on the dias….. an MY DEAR FRIENDS and JUNIORS!

A very Good evening to all of you!

I'll try my best to avoid the "Papa Kehte speeches of koi engineer kakaam karega, business mein koi apna naam karega".
Its kind of funny that we have got to bid farewell to this college today only to come back in a few days to give our vivas and sem exams.But then I guess deep somewhere we all realize that this journey is nearing its end, and I'm happy that I got a chance to speak to all myfriends on this occasion.

I think that a farewell speech is probably the ONLY speech wherestudents actually listen to the speaker (well I am hoping at leastthat is the case right now!)

Now that I have your undivided attention, let me not waste time insharing experiences as we were on this journey together and I'm sureall of us of shared this ONE BEAUTIFUL PERIOD at VIT!

It is hard to imagine that in a few days, there will be no classes, nobatches, no seminars, no record submissions, no struggles for the backbenches and copied assignments…. I don't know how life would be without getting up in the morning and running late for class, I don'thow it would be without the best bunch of batch mates one can everwish to have!

Friends, its hard not to get philosophical on such occasions andpardon me but the 'about to be engineer' has just realized that the wheel of time has turned another revolution and we're now at the threshold of emerging into a new world, it leaves me with a sudden surge of emotions.. Something very similar to the feeling I had when my parents dropped me at the hostel three and half years ago….. I am again upset because this place has become my home …. very honestly I confess that it's not just the campus … the school ……. My hostel room……. My teachers …. But I have sincerely fallen in love with all.

It is time I on behalf of the '05 Registration series…. thank all of you, the staff, the management and my juniors and friends for all the encouragement and support we have received through these years at VIT. Friends, VIT has been a great all round learning experience.Apart from the knowledge of the subjects which we studied, VIT has opened our eyes to this world. And at a time where vested interestsare using regionalism as an instrument for subjugating our national integrity, I feel very proud in saying that my university campus is perhaps the most diverse and cosmopolitan campus in the country andthe world.

I have friends from every nook and corner of this vast nation and around the globe. And I for one am extremely proud of this legacy atVIT. I guess no one here deserves greater credit for this than our Honorable Chancellor Sir! It is his vision that has made VIT a truly GLOBAL institute…. Being a VITian is not just about being a student, it is indeed a way of life!
Thank You Sir!

VERY HUMBLY I STATE this …..
our Dean Dr. Khalid sir, my programme manager Dr. Iyengar and myesteemed teachers….
We perhaps have nothing much to offer as GURU DAKSHINA except our deepest heartfelt REGARD, a lot of gratitude and a promise that we shall try our level best to insure that we add to the glory of VIT where ever we go.

THANK YOU juniors for such a wonderful evening that you planned for usI!

Thank you everybody!

Another Secular Cry

2008-09-26T03:49:00.000-04:00

I’m shocked. I’m in dismay. Having lived in a relatively cocoon like environ of a cosmopolitan college campus, perched in the southernmost state of India but with the peaceful and very happy coexistence of youth from all across the country and the world, I live in a mirage. Everything is so similar, the aspirations of the youth, the desires, the needs and wishes. We all want to get good jobs, have handsome incomes, do MBAs and higher studies, we want to rule the world and live the Golden Bird India dream.

Living on the better side of the Great Indian Divide which is much talked about these days, I am curious about the other end. Some days cheer you up, with news of skyrocketing development and promising glimpses of a wonderful future and yet most others are grim reminders of what the other India is facing. I do not distinguish this India from the other on financial parameters which are transient anyways, I do not want to harangue over inflation, stocks and oil prices and yet I don’t want to paint a rosy picture of a bright future. My division of India is on the secular and fundamentalist lines, an age old debate but now more relevant than ever.
Development has happened, progress is here to stay, richer shall the nation be but will this phenomenal increase in the GDP amount to Gross National Happiness?
Is this India not aware of the loss of secular identity we face at the hands of Jihadists? Aren’t we turning a blind eye to the atrocious and often state sanctioned violence by VHP, Bajrang Dal etc.? I’m ashamed to read about the Orissa carnage, attacks on churches across Karnataka. I’m unable to comprehend the fact that almost all major cities in the country are being bombed relentlessly; I’m gaping at the polarization that our national fabric has seen. I’m doing what everyone is doing.
I spoke to a Delhi friend about a week after the latest blasts, she told me that the general public would refrain from standing close to luggage at metro stations, avoid people of“typical attire” at parks and markets, and even be careful of even using garbage bins. She spoke an awful lot more about how people spot people as “suspicious” and how the secular temperament is changing…. Saffron and Green never seemed so drifted apart from each other as now.
Pakistan allowed religious fundamentalism to enshrine itself in the roots and core of the country, the armed forces, the educational system, government policies and national ideals since the late 1970s. We know what Pakistan faces today. A largely moderate society is being transformed and no one is safe, everything foreign is hated, the Islamabad Marriott blasts (and innumerable others) are a stark reminder of how deep has the Jihadi penetrated, the comfort to strike at will anyone anywhere. The nation lies in tatters.
Do we wish to let fundamentalism take over in our case of a multi-ethnic multi-religious society?
Be proud of this I read somewhere, a 1960s CIA report claimed India’s internal diversity will cause her collapse in 5 years. We’ve come a long way from then, yet not so far.
Out of all that we have at stake today, our first attempt should be to protect secularism, with every bomb blast and those affected, arrested and blamed- more people from this India move into the other one. The society in Our India is either too berserk minting money, too ignorant or dumb. The silent majority as we claim cannot go silent anymore, the more we sit and watch and ignore these grim reminders of social polarization, more we push us to the ill-fated prospect of balkanization or much worse. You may wish and claim and tout that it shall not happen but if the fundamentalist at both ends are given a free hand, wait 20yrs and see.
If we don’t rescue secularism, all else shall fall. Our only grace, our last chance. I’m still in shock. I’m in dismay and the headline I just read “Sack Jamia Millia Islamia VC: BJP”.
Good Morning India!

Azadi from Kashmir

2008-09-26T03:11:00.000-04:00

^^An Indian army soldier, wearing red shirt torn by protestors, is paraded by villagers shouting anti-Indian Army solgans in Bandipore town, 65 kilometers (40 miles) north of Srinagar

I’m sorry if I say this is too loud or barefaced, but what India needs is Azadi (Independence) from Kashmir. From 1948-2008, we have spent 60 long years trying to compromise with a set of people who have never thought of themselves as Indians. In a state with a ‘Prime Minister’ till 1953, the call for ‘liberation’ was never too bleak for the naked eye. Right through the 1970s, 80s they cheered Pakistan, chanted mantras for ‘Freedom Movement’, ‘plebiscite’, ’autonomy’ and with insurgency since 1989 India has been demonized for no sin.
Having poured in billions in aid and billions more in fighting militancy, Indian Army faces the disgrace of being treated as an occupying force in its own territory. They now call for the withdrawal of the Indian forces from the valley; in the eyes of the world, international press, hawkish neighbors and radical regimes Indian forces are gross mutilators of human rights and have made the life of the ‘innocent’ Kashmiri terrible.
Face it: The Army doesn’t enjoy being pushed to the worst possible proxy war with the threat from locals and foreign militants always lingering and a terrorist or two lurking in the dark alleys. The army is called in only when the worst possible breakdown of the constitutional machinery occurs, which was and will be the state of Kashmir eventually.
With thousands of jawans and officers lost to the cause, 20 years later we see this as the India’s worst investment of resources to a thankless people. The fact of the matter is that as a soft-state India hasn’t quashed Kashmir like China has done with Tibet or Israel is doing with Palestinians, we have not done it because we have not been a militarist state, every nation has a state ideology (like the U.S. believes it is the sole guardian of democracy), India more than anything has tried to uphold secular democratic framework of a motley of cultures. Imagine the body-blow the secular state ideology has received when India’s army has to patrol its only Muslim majority state...humiliating!
Why then do we stick to Kashmir when the Kashmiris don’t wish to continue with The Union? The once secular and vividly romantic environs of Kashmir Valley have erupted in August 2008 to let loose all the conceited anger, hatred and filth which had accumulated since decades. The Kashmir v/s Jammu, Hindu v/s Muslim, India v/s Pakistan, Separatist v/s Moderate malevolence strewn across the state has maligned and ‘Paradise Lost’ is more apt than clichéd.
Here’s why..
India sticks to Kashmir as it is the very idea of the Indian secular state and the firm belief that a Muslim-majority Kashmir can be happier, more prosperous in the secular fabric of India than at the hands of a buffer ‘Azad Kashmir’ or a full P-o-K.
India suffers from this bout of ignominy in admitting that in Kashmir, the proving ground for its state ideals, the unity in diversity and associated paraphernalia has collapsed under the weight of dead bodies.
India understands, if Kashmir goes there’ll be no stopping the band-wagon, virtually all NE states and every separatist group would get the booster dose for ‘Liberation’.
India’s eternal romance with paradise crown of Dal Lake, Gulmarg and Wular, the picturesque snow fields where Shammi Kapoor once sang ‘Yahooo!’ is a mainstay to modern Indian geopolitical psyche.
You are free to add as many more….
The common media projection of gullible Kashmiris being played at the hands of Pakistan has fallen on its face as the August demonstrations proved that if one call for protest by the Hurriyat could mobilize 5-lakh ordinary Kashmiris, there is definitely a sense of lack of understanding on our side.
The question is do we still wish to understand, standing at the crossroads of the giant leap to becoming a superpower or falling back to being the world leaders of the third world. Nehru said it and the tryst continues, our destiny is being remolded every second now. Do we wish to carry the burden of a thankless people who haven’t let any progress whatsoever get through them in the past 60 years? Is there a need and logic in attempting reconciliation?
A 100-acre plot of land, that is all it took to bring down the ‘stabilized’ Kashmir rhetoric, that is all it would take for these people to claim sovereignty and oaths of fealty for Pakistan. Indian deserves much better and thus more than ever now, the Kashmiris need to decide what their fate would be:-
a.) With and as a constituent of a resurgent India or
b.)On the whimsical path to Azad Kashmir and dream to be paralyzed into mis-governance and turmoil worse than now (like India’s many neighbors) or
c.) To join the God-forsaken Pakistan, which will be unique for the decades to come in having the Taliban, radical Islamists as well as the Americans against itself and yet serving as their battle theatre, on a plummeting social and economic base.
The radical Sangh Parivar and the dream of ‘Akhanda Bharat’ should take the reality bite and it is time Kashmir and Indian subconscious woke up to the reality. It is Kashmir’s call for the future!

Walker's Algorithm

2008-09-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

The Foreword!
I’m as flustered about life and people as you are however order is a way of life hence I’ve done my best in the manor of the civilized beings to classify, categorize, analyze and interpret the immediate society.. You may be tempted to ridicule it or adorn it as the spice of your life, either way you cannot ignore it…… so tarnish it or ornate it, read through coz that’s why I’m writing it….. 

The Walker’s Algorithm : PART I
Point A: The Runtime Environment
The R&D on this algorithm is done over the VIT University sample space and preliminary subjects are persons of opposite sex, any deviation whatsoever has not been recorded.
In terms of hangout options, VIT Universe is a God forsaken place, an oasis of scenic and landscaped beauty perched amidst a concrete jungle that sprouts from the middle of no where in the largely barren western edge of the Katpadi selection-grade town panchayat.
The developers strongly believe that this algorithm can be applied at any campus/workplace/colony verdant with wide and peaceful roads or park-like environs with obvious counterparts of function points and topography described, however the availability of long walking track is quintessential for optimal performance.

We’ve included the official Lover’s Guidebook Map 2007, please download and enlarge if not clear! Changes will be updated with the 2008 version subsequently prior to its release!

Point B: Subject Capture
Taking a typical culture in our Petri-dish i.e. the campus, people arrive here become “frands” and the group grows, girls remain constant and guys undergo all basic arithmetic operations (+,-,*, /) within the group. There definitely is our heroine, the sweet pretty girl and there unquestionably is the desi stud, we would call this sample as ALPHA. And as the group stabilizes, the banter, the hangouts, the trips and parties get merrier! Till comes the ‘wo din’ (vaguely translated as that fateful day) of the eye contact and the awkwardness that sets in and Ah! The harbinger of eternal hope in its atomic form is born!

Over a period of days and weeks (in worst case losers even months) the Alpha bond becomes ever stronger, the duo find no solace in the group (involvement in which has by now become a passion, pride and religion for the others), they feel aloof and out of the world, isolated lighthouses winking at each other amidst a sea of people! Wah Wah!

They burn out their keypads with a zillion SMSs, especial thanks to service providers for carrying forth the delivery report in dearth of which the network is flooded with the same message until it’s delivered!

Here the algorithm really snaps at the speed Einstein called c, thanks to developments in Mobile Telephony and Discount Technology, one fine evening fatefully the last one for a long time to come, the Alpha male switches on to the “frands” special mobile pack with 4 close friends (which are obviously hers and not his) @30p and the golden goose Alpha Female @10p per min. Messaging gives way to late night calls, and every washroom, corridor, staircase, court…. filled with such confidence doubled Alpha males. Shut doors, dim lit rooms are the order of the night, the cheesiest songs make sense now and in no time does the junta get the ‘hints’ and ‘uski bandi’ (loosely translated as his chic/misery) is now invading the hostel lingo. And yes the wait is over! The time has come! We’re ready to enter the walker’s algorithm!

Point C: Inception and its agents
The tenets of logic and reason that ruled the male bastion and shaped the Alpha male’s world so far are threatened by a dangerous virus known only as the “Mush!” symptomatic with red-cheeks on hearing “honeybunch, sugarplum, lovey dovey, janu, sweetoo” and an awful lot more, its already made its way into the domain data dictionary. This extra sugar, over care (like too much milk and sugar) would spoil the taste of rum for us but for the Alpha’s its all the Lassi that matters!

Agent M
M is essentially the catalyst, troubleshooter, counselor, initiator, preservative and a close common friend of the Alphas… to put it simply please welcome Mediatoricus the demigod of multi tasking who “knows” how you feel and “understands” what you want!

In 99.9% of the samples surveyed, M is a female entity…logic is simple as not putting two swords in a scabbard; the quiver can do with many arrows ;-)
The troika capsule now detaches from the command ship main group, tethered only through M, the main group meanwhile suffers from bouts of perplexia as “what’s on yaar” but Alas! The dragon has been unleashed and if you didn’t realize it, its time to call a spade.. A Spade!

The Alphas and M now stick together for most part of the living day, food courts, canteens, coffee-shops pass by and at each of these pit-stops on the laps of the Dakar (not the real African one, its literally a burp!) Rally they spend! Oh! I’m sure you have sympathies with our chivalrous alpha male who’s already set bit operator high enough to “burn my cash baby!” mode.

There’s nothing romantic about it, there’s nothing official about it so far, and since M is present the Mush resigns to night calls and good night, good morning, good afternoon SMS iterative sequences.

The First Day at Cool!
The flights stabilized now and the Alphas hint M that they don’t need the trainer anymore and as she “understands” it, M bails out leaving them on their own!
Don’t ward off M, if she’s a simplymarry.com super specialty agent she would tend to other livestock!

Sleepless and foodless nights are all story book romance now…frankly! The journey begins with a mushy Mush! And hushy Hush! At the Condivia [set all flags to ‘Hey’] and they walk at snails pace to reach pit-stop PS 1, the food court-spend cash-move along the grand trunk to reach PS-2, the coffee is sacrificed by some, from where they again take route to PS 3, The Long Canteen-spend cash-drag at snails pace for the item of the day (can be ice-creams at Aavin’s, Coffee at Akka’s), they’re tired now and it’s the streets are too “crowded”. Its time for “lets sit somewhere” and the favorites here are Green mounts, Akka’s coffee corner, Lovers stairs I and II and determining exactly who will sit where is purely situational, all of them are equally holy to the algorithm for here its is that they sat! The road now leads back to Condivia, it’s still another hour before darkness falls and we reach it!

To throw some milk in your sambhar, the whistle blows of the security-issued in public nuisance and in-time woes push them back from Condivia [set all flags to ‘na jao saiyya’ (Don’t get lost darling)].

In the background: people notice the first day at cool, the deletion of M is taken as a causality and not casually… hearts break and those hopers against hope (who still believed in the “frands” theory) now run for the dope because its now only in hallucinations that the dream girl will shine for you the signal GREEN, for a long time we mean!

Come on Byabee!! Its on!!

Well, this is to certify that the Alpha’s have united, completely and wholly, you are now allowed to honor them, with figs or flint stones, envy them hate them but you can never ignore them!

In true Indian tradition, many a pals from either side of Alpha jump in to carefully and most officiously do the duty of Laxman Bhaiya and ‘jeeja ki saali’ (the dreaded zenith of cheesiness- the sister-in-law).Proud of having accomplished the ‘propose’, they…… WALK! Because that’s all that they can do, as a nutritional viewpoint its great for the body to experience culinary delights of a cosmopolitan campus, on a financial note we call it ‘recession’!

The art of taxonomy, sister-concern of algorithms can be applied to divide Alpha Kumar (toned down by Mush from the Alpha male that he was) into three distinct types:-

a.) The Flaunter: more concerned about the external and the fact he’s got a GIRL, he’s the odd guy who floundered with his appearance and now goes fluctuating in low and high confidence modes depending on seeing people’s reactions on seeing him in algorithm.
b.) Metropolinas: the usual big city guy, uses ‘f*ck’, ‘macha’, ‘dude’, ‘bitches’ as speech punctuators, the pub monger, the disc deewana (mad-man), the rapper dude who jus got up the other day only to realize I’m outta this world! (pseudo intellectuals, Ganza-man etc. can be internal subdivisions).
c.) ‘Pavam’: nice dedicated server who from day one goes “committed”, polite to every one who eyes at him and treats everybody who sees his ‘her’ as an Afghan warlord through a sniper crossbar.

This phase, apart from the cash is typically the staple diet for the algorithm and it is thus the longest iterative algorithm. Though a certain algorithmic routine at love may bore almost all of us, the Alpha’s are blissfully a world apart as for them these are not roads, they are boulevards of heaven and these belligerent security guards, a grim reminder of omnipresent evil around us!
With each iteration, the flippancy, if at all sublimes and the love code is now burnt on to the chips of their brains.

Contact and whatever you may wish to imagine in this section, is usually in the good bye drama sequences in the vicinity of Condivia and if you’re lucky you might spot a rather elusive but exotic ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya…’ (Vampires took the Bride) types I-turn, u-turn buh! bye! sequences.

‘Good night with take care’ messages storm the network as though the lad’s to be drafted the next morning for a posting in Ladakh or the likes. This is how they days go by.. for now!